01 / THE LAUNCH
Drop your startup.
The app. The tool. The AI wrapper with a deeply personal origin story. Put it somewhere besides your bookmarks.
your 47th logo redesign can wait. FOR FOUNDERS ONE MORE “JUST SHIPPED” FROM LOSING IT
you launch it.
we pump it.
You built the next big thing.
Your mom is your only user.
Set a bounty per customer. People promote your startup. Pay only when they deliver.
join the waitlist. retire “we’re still in stealth.”
INSTITUTIONAL-GRADE DELUSION ✳
SEEDPUMP / THE PUMP TERMINALDEMO ↗
your next big thing
$YOURSTARTUP · pre-revenue. post-sanity.
420.69
COMPLETELY MADE-UP HYPE POINTSmom discovers incognito↘
JUST AN IDEATHE GROUP CHAT LOSES IT↗
a very real button. a very imaginary chart.
@your_mom has appointed herself head of growth.
↑ your cofounder calls this “distribution.”
stealth mode is a cry for helpyour TAM is the group chatpre-revenue. post-sanity.stop pivoting. start being perceived.
01 — THE EXTREMELY TECHNICAL PROCESS
From “what’s this?” to “I knew them early.”
Y Combinator energy. Group chat governance.
02 / THE PUMP
Release the group chat.
Recruit people with alarming screen time and no indoor voice. They spread the word. Their friends become your problem. In a good way.
your unpaid cofounder could never.03 / THE PAYOFF
Pay for wins. Not “exposure.”
Set a bounty for a new customer. Pay the people who actually bring one. Finally, a growth strategy that isn’t “post more.”
no customer? no payout. simple.02 — A COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE ORIGIN STORYDO NOT BECOME THIS GUY
“I had the exact same idea.”
A tragic sentence. Usually typed under someone else’s launch.
YOU, NOW
“I’ll launch after
one more tiny fix.”
YOU, LATER
“Wait. Why is everyone
talking about them?”
AN ALTERNATIVE ENDING
They’re talking
about you.
hypothetical future. painfully familiar energy.
03 — OKAY, BUT ACTUALLY
Serious answers. Suspiciously silly website.
What is Seedpump?
Seedpump is a pre-launch experiment for a customer bounty marketplace. The proposed model: founders set a reward for a new customer, and promoters earn it by bringing that customer. We’re collecting interest from both sides before building the marketplace.
How would customer bounties work?
A founder would set a bounty and agree what counts as a new customer. A promoter would earn the reward when they deliver that result. Attribution, verification, and payout rules are still being worked out. No bounties or payments are live yet.
Who can join the waitlist?
Founders who want customers and people who want to earn money promoting startups can join. Founders share their startup URL and an estimated bounty per customer in USD. Promoters only need an email address.
Does joining cost anything?
No. The waitlist is free. Choosing a bounty range is a statement of interest, not a payment or a commitment to spend.
Is this crypto? Is the chart real?
No tokens, trading, or investments. The pump button, hype points, and chart are a joke. The business idea is paying for customer referrals, and the waitlist records real interest.
What happens after I sign up?
Your email, role, signup date, and any founder answers are saved in our waitlist. We plan to email you when there’s a launch or pilot to try. Joining does not create a live campaign or guarantee customers.
Be the startup they won’t shut up about.
Join the waitlist. “I was early” is a personality trait. Get yours.